Growing up there are two things that I wanted to do. 1. Be a second grade teacher. 2. Be a really good mom. I was lucky enough to teach second grade for six years. At one point I was offered a job to be the District Elementary Math Coordinator, but I turned it down because I wanted to be a teacher that teaches kids, not teachers. I knew I would miss my little friends way too much. As much as I loved teaching I knew that I didn't want to teach forever. As luck would have it, Prince Charming (Devin) showed up, we got married, and after almost two years of marriage we were blessed with Anna. The day we heard Anna's heartbeat for the first time was the day I turned in my teaching resignation papers. I was done with goal #1. Now on to #2--be a really good mom.
If I said the last four years of being a mom were easy I would be lying. It has been hard, way hard. Now don't get me wrong. I wouldn't trade Anna and Nicholas for anything. But being a "really good mom" has not come easily to me. I would tease Devin that I felt like I needed 4 years of schooling, several student teaching experiences, and a year long internship in motherhood. THEN I think I would feel more prepared. I often wondered why something I wanted so much was so difficult and challenging to me. Teaching was second nature. Motherhood was such a stretch.
A few months ago I had a huge epiphany. It was shortly after we bought our van and I was at soccer practice with Anna. I was talking with a friend and we came to the conclusion that we had finally made it. We had the van, we were driving the kids to soccer practice, this was what being a mother was all about. That is when I realized that being a mom for me was very different that many girls. Being a mom really never had anything to do with babies. (Sorry all you baby lovers out there, don't hate me.) I laugh when people ask me if I am "baby hungry" and I without even blinking say, "NO!" My dream of being a mom doesn't have anything to do with changing diapers, staying up all night with a crying baby, or trying to feed someone mushed up food that I wouldn't touch with a forty foot pole. My dream of being a mom is the mini van full of carpool friends, it is taking my kids to swimming lesson, dance lessons, preschool, and soccer practice. It is going to story time and falling in love with the library and books with my kids. It is spending hours and hours reading with my kids in all of our favorite reading places inside and outside our house. It is teaching my children to work hard and to do their part. It is swelling with pride as I watch my little girl get up and sing with the primary kids and hearing all about what she learned in primary. It is teaching my kids, helping them learn to read and write. It is playing with my kids, Legos, dolls, cars, kitchen, puzzles, you name it, we play together. It is running races along side my kids. It is going for hikes and camping trips as a family. And most importantly it is just sitting down and talking with my kids. I LOVE just talking with them about anything and everything. My list could go on and on. I am sure you can see the common theme, all of these things are not done with a baby. My vision of motherhood, what I always dreamed about is toddler and older. And as Anna quickly approaches her 4th birthday I laugh, I guess I have finally earned my four year degree in motherhood. It took us four years to get here. It was worth it!!! And I am loving it.
So another one of those big mommy dream things is sending my kids to school and being one of those awesome moms that gives their teacher all the support and help they need. My neighbor found the most wonderful preschool, my dream preschool. Anna was very excited to start school. The big day came and we took our first "First Day of School" picture.
Anna already knew a few of the kids in her preschool. Here they are on the first day(minus Caden another boy in our ward). Korver, Anna, and Liz...oh and that cute little Nicholas who now gets to spend some quality time with mom several days a week.
It has been wonderful! I love hearing about her day at school. I love listening to the songs and stories. I love the little papers she colors and projects she brings home. I love the Book Orders. She really is doing well. They have learned cute little rhymes for each letter of the alphabet that they have studied so far. Anna says them so much that even Nicholas is starting to randomly say things like, "M the moose munches, mmm, mmm, mmm."
Last week they learned a cute little song about five little mice. Here is just a portion of the song.
So yeah for preschool! Yeah for being a mom! I really do love being a mom. Perhaps I just needed some time to grow up in motherhood and my kids needed some time to grow up too.
If I said the last four years of being a mom were easy I would be lying. It has been hard, way hard. Now don't get me wrong. I wouldn't trade Anna and Nicholas for anything. But being a "really good mom" has not come easily to me. I would tease Devin that I felt like I needed 4 years of schooling, several student teaching experiences, and a year long internship in motherhood. THEN I think I would feel more prepared. I often wondered why something I wanted so much was so difficult and challenging to me. Teaching was second nature. Motherhood was such a stretch.
A few months ago I had a huge epiphany. It was shortly after we bought our van and I was at soccer practice with Anna. I was talking with a friend and we came to the conclusion that we had finally made it. We had the van, we were driving the kids to soccer practice, this was what being a mother was all about. That is when I realized that being a mom for me was very different that many girls. Being a mom really never had anything to do with babies. (Sorry all you baby lovers out there, don't hate me.) I laugh when people ask me if I am "baby hungry" and I without even blinking say, "NO!" My dream of being a mom doesn't have anything to do with changing diapers, staying up all night with a crying baby, or trying to feed someone mushed up food that I wouldn't touch with a forty foot pole. My dream of being a mom is the mini van full of carpool friends, it is taking my kids to swimming lesson, dance lessons, preschool, and soccer practice. It is going to story time and falling in love with the library and books with my kids. It is spending hours and hours reading with my kids in all of our favorite reading places inside and outside our house. It is teaching my children to work hard and to do their part. It is swelling with pride as I watch my little girl get up and sing with the primary kids and hearing all about what she learned in primary. It is teaching my kids, helping them learn to read and write. It is playing with my kids, Legos, dolls, cars, kitchen, puzzles, you name it, we play together. It is running races along side my kids. It is going for hikes and camping trips as a family. And most importantly it is just sitting down and talking with my kids. I LOVE just talking with them about anything and everything. My list could go on and on. I am sure you can see the common theme, all of these things are not done with a baby. My vision of motherhood, what I always dreamed about is toddler and older. And as Anna quickly approaches her 4th birthday I laugh, I guess I have finally earned my four year degree in motherhood. It took us four years to get here. It was worth it!!! And I am loving it.
So another one of those big mommy dream things is sending my kids to school and being one of those awesome moms that gives their teacher all the support and help they need. My neighbor found the most wonderful preschool, my dream preschool. Anna was very excited to start school. The big day came and we took our first "First Day of School" picture.
Last week they learned a cute little song about five little mice. Here is just a portion of the song.
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2 comments:
Here Here!
I am not a fan of the baby stage either! I can't wait for Lyvi to be about 1 1/2 or 2, that is when they get really fun and it just goes up from there. I love being able to do all that stuff with my kids, but enjoy it now because soon they get major attitude! Then you will miss the toddler years.
Julie, I think that different moms have different strengths... not everyone can be amazing at ALL the ages! The toddler years are great.
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